well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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