ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
