brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
