the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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