she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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