Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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