so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
