I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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