I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
