It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
