Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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