Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
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