you guys were way drunker than both of me
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Randomize
