is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
