Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I supernannyed him into submission
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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