hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
someone owes me an orgasm
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
