Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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