I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
