dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Too much gin, very little bucket
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
