You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
