I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
