Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
