you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
