No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
