Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
should my penis look like a turkey
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
