Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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