I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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