I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
