He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
The air taste purple.
Randomize
