It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
