Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
