but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
