toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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