When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
