Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
