Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
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