You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
