Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
