Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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