That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
