I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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