Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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