haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
