it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
