Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
