He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
