Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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