it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You ate ashes out of my bong
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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