is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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