OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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