first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
