I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
