honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
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