I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
